As I approach the Eve of our Saviors birth, there are so many emotions going on inside of me.
My Awe comes of realizing who God really is. HE is the Alpha & Omega, Prince of Peace, King of Kings, Almighty One. He is our Healer, our Redeemer, our Comforter, HE is our SAVIOR!!
I am humbled by HIS steadfast love for me, even when I make HIM grieve by my choices or actions. That HE sent HIS Son as the ultimate sacrifice for my sins, and suffered death on the cross, even if I was the only one. That HE promises to do good work in me until the day of completion (until my last breath), I am humbled that I am an heir to His kingdom and one day I will be standing before HIS HOLY Presence!
I am in pain as I grieve loosing my sweet momma soon. A pain so real that sometimes it hurts to breath. A pain that goes deep down to the very core of me. A pain that actually makes my heart ache!
Where will I put my trust with all this pain? GOD is the only answer. He is trustworthy, He is sovereign (supreme authority) He is my constant, never failing Savior in whom I place my trust! Who am I that I would question what GOD had orchestrated in my life. He is dependable in times of adversity. No one enjoys pain, and most of us want it gone immediately. But I have come to a point in my journey with God to stay in it as long as HE wants it to be a part of my life. God loves me and is in complete control of this "pain", "adversity" that He has allowed in my life with my mom. I might not fully understand why, but I do trust Him through it all.
Faith, I must always view my adverse circumstances through the eyes of FAITH, not of sense. It sure doesn't make sense what he has allowed in my life, but I have faith in a Heavenly Father who loves me and wants His best for me. Just as faith of salvation comes through hearing the message of GOD, so my faith to trust HIM comes through the Word of God alone. It is only there that I begin to find and understand God's immeasurable love for me and how HE is walking every step of this journey He has me on right now. I have faith that God's grace is sufficient and HIs love adequate. and nothing can separate me from His love. Not even my mom's illness and soon passing.
So this brings me to the understanding that God is sovereign over both the blessings of my life and also the sufferings.
Thank you Lord for all that you have allowed in my life, the good and the bad. I am sorry that it has been in the "bad" times that I have called on you more. Mercy Me sings a song "Bring the rain" I confess that I mostly praise you and draw closer to you in the midst of the rain (storm) Father, I want to praise you outside of the rain, on a day by day, minute by minute basis! I want nothing more than to bring you Glory every minute that I have breath.
I will trust and have faith that my mom is in your hands and your timing, Oh Lord. I will praise you when she draws her last breath, is ushered home and finally in the presence of your Holiness. I can only imagine the smile that will be on her face as your angels sing joyfully and you say "well done good and faithful servant, come and find rest"
God you are good always and I praise your Holy name!
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