A KISS FROM MOM!

As a stayed with my parents this past week I ended up getting sick with the flu. I was feeling so bad on my last day there. After running around for a few hours we arrived back to their house. I new I had to lay down and rest before driving the hour back to my house. I gathered all my belongings so that I could just leave after I rested a bit. Seeing me gathering all my stuff, my mom started getting upset. She asked me if I was going and I told her yes after I rested a while though. She says, "Awe-don't go". I told her to come back and lay down with me so we could rest, thinking once she fell asleep I would just sneak out. Well, I must have been exhausted, because as we held hands laying in bed, I passed right out.

Once I awoke, she popped her head up and got out of bed. We went out on the sun porch and sat with my dad and she knew that I was feeling really bad. She kept touching my arm, my neck and my head with such concern on her face. She bent down and kissed my forehead a couple times. I had my legs up resting on a stool, and she continued on like this for about more 5 minutes with the continual touching, then all of a sudden she went down and kissed the top of my foot :-) I know some of you might be thinking yuck, but to me that was huge, it was my mom trying to care for me and not knowing how as she saw her little girl sick and in pain. I responded with tears in my eyes, "you are STILL my mommy, trying to make me feel better huh?" Her reply "yes". I know I am 46 years old, but the kiss, touch and love of my mom is so amazing and such a blessing to me.

My beautiful mom,
Oh, the joy in my heart as I experienced that sweet moment Jesus gave to me, having my mommy back. I will take those moments over any other right now in my life because I know all too soon, you will be taken from me. As dad and I got the news on 3/12 that the Dr gives you 6 months or so to be with us, it was so difficult. Even though I knew one day that day would come because of your terminal illness, it was still sad to hear. Especially having to go straight to my friends moms funeral a few hours later. It took an hour to get there, so on the drive I prayed that GOD would give me strength to make it through the service. I met Dan at the church and didn't even have a chance to tell him about the Dr's news regarding you. I know how much GOD loves me and I know and trust that he orchestrated every detail of that day. But let me tell you how hard it was for me, knowing that I would be walking that same journey as my friend Sunday, saying goodbye to MOM. Even though I have had quite a long time to prepare myself,,it is sooo hard. Dan asked me the next morning if there is just a little relief knowing that your suffering will be over? I told him yes, it kills me to see your anxiety level so high and it has to be exhausting for you. But the selfish side of me still wants you here. I love it when I tuck you in at night and I get to pray for you and you look up at me and say "thank you, that was so beautiful." I love that I get to hug and kiss you still. I love, love, love when dad puts music on and we dance together, (you still got the moves, mom.) Being able to care for you, even though it's difficult and draining at times, I am thankful that you are here with me still. So I am moving into the denial stage of it, just to cope for now. Once again I love you mom, you are the best in the world!
Loving you always,
your daughter,
Valarie

Marriage on the Rock- part 2

It's the girls turn!
Just as a man has special needs, so does a woman. A man who loves his wife and wants to build a good marriage will do his best to understand and meet his wife's needs.

Ephesians 5:25-30 Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body. but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-for we are members of his body.

FOUR BASIC NEEDS OF A WOMAN

A: Security-it's the character of the woman's husband that makes a woman secure.
How can he provide security???
1) the reflection of the law of priority; a man must communicate that he cares for his wife more than he cares for anyone or anything. He needs to be totally committed to meeting her needs, regardless of what it costs him. Anticipate a need before she even speaks it.
2) The husband to communicate his admiration and love for his wife. Being sincere in what he communicates.
3) By communicating his faithfulness
4) By communicating his dedication to provide for the family financially. This involves praying for God's direction, being a wise money manager.

B: Nonsexual, soft touch and affection-women become more sexual when their husband kisses, caresses, and cuddles. The more connected she feels to her husband when touch doesn't always lead to sex. Don't make her feel like an object.

C: Open and honest communication-not headline news. Meaningful and real communication.

D: Need for leadership-the man to be the loving initiator at home.
How?
1)the kind of leadership a wife wants from her husband is that of a sacrificial, servant leader-a leader whose primary concerns is the uplifting and building up of his wife. This kind of leadership from a husband naturally leads to a trusting submission from his wife.
2)children-husband be the loving initiator of the children
3)romance-initiation from the husband. Get the ball rolling, make plans for her.
4)finances-well being of finances
5)spiritual-initiate praying together. Be the spiritual leader that GOD intended for you to be.

So you don't lose the intimacy with your spouse establish-DISCIPLINES, TRADITIONS, and HABITS!!!
Do you agree or disagree with the author, Jimmy Evans? Do you think he hit the nail on the head with what our needs are as women?

Marriage On the ROCK

It's been a long time since my last post and I've been wanting to write about this since our small group covered it on 2/20.
Our small group is going through the video series Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans. I found this past meeting interesting because it covered the four strongest relationship needs of a man. I realize that relationship needs of men and women vary greatly. But I was shocked when sexual needs wasn't listed as number one for men.
Every man, regardless of personality, has four primary needs. They are honor and respect, sexual fulfillment, companionship and domestic support. I never would have thought honor and respect would be my husbands greatest need. Ephesians 5:22 and 33b both address the wife about her husband's need for honor and respect.

A: Honor and respect
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord
Eph 5:33b and the wife must respect her husband
Some of you might be asking how you should show honor and respect to your husband. Here are the notes I wrote during the video.
positive speech, praise (create an atmosphere of honor), how you say things matters- try and say every word with honor and respect. Men are drawn into the presence of praise. Men are extremely sensitive about their ego. How?
1)allow him to fail in areas, honor
2)confront him in love (once) then leave it to GOD
3)honor your husband where you want him to be. Pray it over him, partner with the Holy Spirit on making your husband a great man.
*don't compare your husband to another man, control your thought life!

B) Sexual fulfillment
Except the fact that he is more sexual, men are emotionally detached, men are visually stimulated. Sex is a powerful force in a man's life, and the wife is God's only legitimate resource for satisfying the husbands needs. When we reject our husbands need for sex, we are rejecting him because his sexual drive is an essential part of who he is.. The wife must understand the strength and importance of the male appetite and need for sex.
*no man should compare their wife to any other women.

C) Companionship
Initially, we fall in love while having fun together and enjoying each other's company. A man has continuing need for that same kind of companionship-for his wife to continue relating to him as his best friend. We need to make an effort to be involved in fun activities that our husbands enjoy. Be his "fun" friend. Don't treat him like he's your child. Have fun together EVEN if it's something you don't really enjoy!

D) Domestic support
Having a place of belonging-by making the home a place where your husband loves to be. This does not mean that we (the wife) should handle all the domestic responsibilities but that our instincts for making a "house a home" need to come to the forefront. It's OK to partner with the chores!

No matter what the circumstance is in your marriage, whether your husband is doing it all right and it's easy to deliver on all four of these needs, or maybe your in a one-sided marriage where your husband acts like a dictator and is very controlling, or is emotionally absent from the marriage, or just doesn't plain deserve it. Be obedient to GOD and do what HIS word instructs us to do.

So women how are you doing in your marriage to fulfill the four strongest relationship needs of your man????