Dear Mom

Hey mom.
It has been so long since the last time I wrote to you..I'm sorry. Our nation honored all those who lost their loved ones 10 years ago in the 9/11 attack this past weekend. It is hard to believe it happened that long ago. It was sad to see different documentaries about that horrifying day and what people experienced. How many times can you say I love you, thank you, be happy and strong, trust in God etc...to your loved one on the other end of the phone for the last time? So many hero's that day.
Brennen & Rachelle are doing well. They both love the Lord and strive daily to glorify Him. Dan and I are very proud of them and I know you would be too! Sometimes, I wonder if you can see us? Not exactly sure how all that works in Heaven. But it would be cool if you can. I often ask God to tell you hello, give you big hugs & kisses, & let you know how much you are missed. I am doing well most days. People say it gets better with time, you know the missing you part? But I don't really believe that. Why would it? You were such an important part of my life. My confidant, my cheerleader, my mom! I know until the day He calls me home, there will be a place in my heart that misses you greatly.
Dad is still struggling. Makes my heart so sad. Not sure what to do or how to help him. Dan and I have asked him to move in with us, or even buy a small home back in Pa then live with us during the winter months. I know all he wants is to be with you again. I have suggested different things for him to do, but with no luck. Do you see him mom? Every evening he lights a candle by your picture which he has next to his recliner. I think it's his way of being close to you still. We share such great memories of you. Some make us laugh and bring such joy to our hearts and some well, are just sad.
We did go back home for the O'Toole reunion in July. You would have been so excited to be with everyone. The younger generation is wanting to take over the reunions and keep it going, which is awesome. Alan brought a video to watch and you were in it. LOVED seeing your beautiful smile again! I know it was hard for dad to be there without you, but I think he really enjoyed himself. All I can say is, we are from one big blessed family. We are not perfect for sure, but are so "rich" by the love, laughter and memories we are able to take with us wherever we go. You can't put a price tag on those "riches", it's PRICELESS!
One more thing, It's football time! Yep, the Steelers had their first game on Sunday and all I can say is PEE YEW!!! I watched it by myself. I do miss seeing you dressed in your Steeler shirt, with your terrible towel, and Steeler signs up in the windows! You loved your Steelers!! That's why we thought it was great for you to take the terrible towel with you. I can see it now. My mom representing with her Steeler colors on, waving her terrible towel, with that big beautiful smile across your face-chanting "Here we go Steelers, here we go!"
I will say "talk to you soon", because it will never be goodbye. Know how dearly you are loved and how greatly you are missed!
your daughter,
Valarie