Fireproof-The movie

My husband and I went with some people from Westwood Church to go preview the movie "Fireproof" this past Monday. Sadly the chances of the movie making it into mainstream are very slim (they are already talking about pulling it from theaters Oct. 3) The movie had a great message and could touch a lot of marriages that are hurting or on the verge of divorce if it was done more mainstream. The acting started out a little hoke but picked up as the movie went on. The thing that freaked Dan and I out is how similar the story was to our story a few years back. I mean we both left the theater and said "WOW!" The main character was a fireman (so was Dan) one of the only difference was Dan never got into porn like the main character (Kirk Cameron) did. His wife's mother was unable to talk due to a stroke and so she was trying to help care for her mom. She would talk and cry to her and say I wish you could talk so you can help me, I'm hurting. (my mom is unable to talk with me due to dementia) At times it became painful in my heart to watch and I had to fight staying in the theater. At times I could feel Dan breathing heavy from the uncomfortableness.

His wife said she was done and wanted out (me too) After some encouragement and a 41 day challange from Kirk's dad he pursues his wife which she rejects with "I don't love you" (so did I) The first half of his pursuit was done half heartedly (yea, his was too) after another challange from his dad he gets serious about putting more heart into it. Meanwhile, the wife who does PR work at a hospital gets attention from a sweet talking Dr. who gives her validation (same thing with me except he wasn't a Dr) It amazes me how satan sits and waits for the right time to make his move knowing how vulnerable I was and out of the blue bringing this stranger around to show me validation and tell me all these sweet nice things, knowing I longed to hear from my husband for years. It makes me angry and I realize how sneaky he is. He waited until I was done and said "move in-she is ripe for the taking" and boy did I fall! The years of hurt and rejection was a door I left opened for satan to come on through and he did! I came into the marriage with alot of hurt and rejection and then to experience it again in my marriage was very painful to me. Even though I was a believer for a very long time I never grabbed ahold of how much GOD loves me and that my validation comes through him. I went through life wondering what the heck my problem was, why nobody loves me. I became very insecure and lonely. That's how I was able to "fall" so hard, in my worst pain and hurt satan sent someone to tell me I wasn't a bad person. I had opportunities throughout the marriage of hearing from other men, sweet stuff that made me feel good and wondered why my husband didn't see those things. But what the difference with that was I still had hope in my marriage, I still loved my husband, I WASN'T DONE (YET). But as soon as I said those words "I'M DONE" satan saw his chance and I fell right into his trap. It was a long process for me to get through on how badly I hurt my JESUS and my HUSBAND. To accept and know that I was forgiven, and I wasn't some scum who could barely look at myself in the mirror. I feel that forgiveness each and every time my husband takes me in his arms and loves me. The work we both had to do to overcome a marriage that was definitely over was intense and painful at times but was well worth the hard work! We are still in counseling to maintain a healthy marriage. We are finishing up a great study in our small group "SACRED MARRIAGE" which encourages us to fall toward our spouses in a world that most couples fall away from each other.

A great scene in the movie was when a co -worker of Kirk's told him that he and his wife had been in counseling and that some great advice that was given to him was to always be a student of your spouse. Don't just settle for a High School, Associates, Bachelor's, or even Doctorate degree, keep going on all the way being a student of your spouse till death due you part! How great is that!!! So this is my prayer-Oh Lord, thank you for your uncondional love and abundant forgiveness. Help me to daily be a student of my husband, help me to know his needs and to meet those needs the best way I can through you. Help us to always fall toward each other and not away from each other. Thank you for my husband, bless our marriage in ways that we could never have imagined. Amen!

I really never went into Dan's stuff in our marriage because I do want to protect him. That is his story to tell if and when he chooses.
Valarie